Gianni's enlightened post (and the Butterfly Effect)

America,
I just read Gianni's post about winners and losers.
I found the timing quite interesting as I am in a state of evaluating many things in my cycling life.
I also found the timing interesting as I just watched The Seven Decisions, a lecture on PBS by Andy Andrews.

The things I am evaluating;
The team and the organization's level of success. I don't mean how many times we get to throw our hands up in victory at some low budget race in Bum Phuck Egypt because we just won a $5.00 T-Shirt (lame!). I am talking about as an organization. Have we created the best possible entity we can create? Is this year the best that can be achieved, or are there changes that can be made to make it better?
You see, I set out to start a team 4 seasons ago because I didn't like the options that were available. Oh, I had plenty of suggestions and ideas, but they were always met with "oh, things don't work that way" kind of resistance. My response is "really? have you tried?". So with the help of a few good folks I wanted to try.
I knew things could be done differently and somehow I found myself reluctantly at the helm of a Borg ship that would soon take on a life of it's own.
So here we are 4 years later and I am questioning how much more there is. Has my vision played out? If not, some new enthusiasm is needed, a catalyst if you will.
Interestingly enough, the word enthusiasm comes from the Greek word enthousiasmos, loosely translated as "God's Breath moving through you".

Other questions include that of what I personally want to get out of cycling, and when I am racing am I making the decisions that positively effect that out come for our team.
You see, I realize I have certain predetermined genetic ability. I am not the fastest sprinter, nor the the best climber, nor the best time trialist. If anything I am extremely mediocre at any of these skills and every once in a great while have a decent day.
I work very hard at it, I suffer like a dog, but the one thing I hate is showing up to a race and watching everything happen and doing nothing. Mostly because I realize that every action we take puts into motion a series of events that are all linked to each other. While I may not win the race, I want to go home knowing I had an effect on, even in some small way, the outcome. I want to go home knowing that had I not been there the result would have been different.
In many things in my life I struggle (by my own demented need for perfection) to achieve greater than mediocrity. Even as guitarist I felt I was mediocre. I can play, and those who are not musicians would be impressed, but I am no Michael Schenker, or Randy Rhoads.

I certainly do not know by Gianni's post if that makes me a winner or a loser, but it certainly gives me something to think about. Perhaps my racing contribution is nothing more than The Butterfly Effect, if so, just maybe if so, that is enough to fulfill my own needs and what I seek out of the sport.

One of the things Andy Andrews says in that lecture mentioned above is "persists without exception" "find a way when there is no way". As these statements apply to my internal question about the team, I ask myself if I have persisted without exception to create something that is exceptional...by my own standards. If not, do I want to persist without exception? If I do, what is the next scene in this play and where does it lead.
The success of the team, and service to it's members is an extremely personal endeavor. One that has me up late at night, and always searching for ways to make things happen or fix problems. It's a rabbit hole I have chosen to go down, and the question now exists "how far down the rabbit hole do I want to go?"

So I leave you with this thought:
The Butterfly Effect states that the movement of a butterfly's wings sets air molecules into motion that in turn set other air molecules into motion and eventually have the potential of causing a tornado on the opposite side of the planet.
Conclusion:
Kill the butterflies and Japan lives.

Nome Agusta (pronounced No me Gusta)

P.S. 18 years married, and 22 years together as of today and we are very much in love, probably because we are both equally twisted (together). But after all these years I find her pretty Groovy...and our relationship is the one thing that is beyond mediocre.