Have you met your D.A.?
D.A. stands for Designated Asshole.
This is the person you hate with every ounce of your being. If you were the type of person that sees God in everyone your inner dialog would go something like this: "everyone is a God, accept that person!".
America, we all have a D.A., some of us have more than one, and all of us are one for someone somewhere. You see the D.A. has a very important job, to teach you about the traits within yourself that you most dislike, but can't see. The D.A. is your mirror to your dark side.
The best thing you can do when you meet one of your D.A.s is go spend some time with them, find out what makes them tick and what it is that disgusts you so much. Once you find it, take a long hard look at yourself and begin to recognize those very traits within yourself. You can't change something you are unaware of.
Blessed is the Designated Asshole, for it is a challenging job.
posted by Ron Castia at
10:56 PM
21 Comments:
You know, this is interesting - Lori has been trying to tell me this for the past year. I've spent time with my DA, but the DA bugs me so much, I can't see straight. So, I'm still analyzing.
All you have to do is identify what behavior it is that bugs you.
It shouldn't be too hard, it will be the one that really pushes your button. He is mean, he is too nice, he is intrusive, whatever...
Then bounce it off of Lori and see if she thinks you display that same trait. Listen to yourself in conversations, if it sounds like something your DA would say, bingo, you have it.
You will be more self aware at that point and able to change the behavior. Once that happens, your DA probably won't annoy you as much. In many cases the person leaves your life. Mission complete, attendance no longer required.
P.S. Yes, some people can be too nice. It typically means they have more to hide.
hmm...not sure i can follow you on this one.
i don't think i want to hate anyone with evey ounce of my being. that seems like a lot of wasted time and energy.
i dig the introspection at the heart of this post, but i'm not sure i can stick with the channel that gets you there.
life's too short. in fact, way too short. i think i'd prefer to focus on those positive traits i see in others and emulate them in my own behavior as much as possible.
... but then again, i could be 'too nice.' and, i definitely have shit to hide - like a penchant for this action.
OV, you are in denial. You don't get a choice of whether you have a DA or not. It is a devine function of that person and they are in service to you.
You can say that you love everyone, and you can lie to yourself becuase our society has told you that it is the right thing to do. But, you can't hide from yourself, the more you try, the more your buttons will blink saying push me. Until you allow those buttons to be pushed and deal with the feelings that they are linked to, the sooner they are deactivated.
The DA is your divine button pusher, and the sooner you admit that you have one, the sooner that person can stop playing that roll.
sorry bud, can't enter your universe.
but, i accept that it exists for you.
will you do the same for others?
Sorry my friend, it just doesn't work like that. If you are here on Earth, and I am pretty sure you are, then you have things to learn and grow through.
If you are telling me that you have already reached the level of an Avatar and have transcended all emotional issues, be very careful riding your bike in traffic. You will be exiting the planet soon.
BTW: If it serves you better, change the word "Hate" to "extreme dislike".
But remember, the opposite of love is not hate, it is disinterest. Love and hate both have an emotional charge.
ok, how 'bout i phrase it like dis:
if'n you can manifest the rain away, why can't you manifest bein' a lover n' not a hater (or extreme disliker)?
i believe in the power of choice.
i also believe in the right of everyone to make mistakes or have lapses in judgment, patience, tranquility, etc.
... course, i'm just regurgitating some words o' wisdom spoken unto me by my favorite bella. so, what the hell do i know?
Man, I hung out with my DA a little bit over the weekend, and I just can't figure it out. Maybe I'm overanalyzing or something.
I like the thought of focusing on positive attributes you want to emulate or learn from, rather than examining negative aspects.
Of course, I also like not assuming I have all the answers.
time for some cheese for me
CC, Just figure out what behavoir really bugs you. Then go talk to your wife and say "do I do that?".
Hopefully she is honest with you and will give you the feedback you need. If so, and she says no you do not do that, you are clean but have something to keep an eye out for in your own behavoir.
If she says "yes, you do that all the time", you have your work cut out for you.
Others: Stop thinking that you are seperate from your DA. Fact of the matter is, if you run into your DA, you will not have a choice of whether to see the positive in that person or not. Because what you see in them is a reflection of yourself.
From the fact that we are all reflections of each other, blinding our eyes trying to focus only on the positive aspects of everyone is naive and an egotistical self-image protection system.
You can't learn if you won't take the blinders off.
I don't want to look at the positive aspects of everyone.
I want to identify those I admire and figure out why.
and spend the energy there, rather than finding those I don't like and figuring out why.
Two very different things.
But again, I am not foolish enough to think I am any smarter than anyone else when it comes to methods of self improvement.
i can't help myself
i'm going to say something and then shut up
acceptance is something that i value highly in life and try everyday to remember
accepting others for who they are, not judging them by my standards
this is how we love and grow in life
i have respect for what you and what you say but, quite honestly, your inability to be accepting is disappointing
Well then, so much for my verbal dance around the bushes....
moo
the cheese just didn't work this time
Hmmmm. I find myself almost afraid to read the response to that one.
If it smells like dogma...
OK, we are still not getting the concept here. You do not go looking for your DA, they come looking for you. It is a pre-life destined arrangement and it is part of your karma. When you run into your DA, you will not be able to find the good in them until you have worked through your issues.
If you are saying you will just avoid the people that you dislike, then you are also avoiding your personal growth. The additional problem is that you can't run and hide, another DA will be along shortly until you finally learn the lesson that they are here to teach you.
There are no short cuts on this one.
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