A moment in duality...

I woke up this morning and noticed everything in my house was replaced with an exact replica.

I went back to the bedroom and told my wife and she said "who are you?".





I haven't answered her yet.

She is blogging...

And I think she likes it.

But be careful, she is sassy, sexy, and trouble all wrapped up in one Groovy package.

And she makes me randy.

Why Nome Agusta

A picture says what?


You know that feeling you get when you lean back too far in a chair and you are about to fall?


I feel like that all the time.

Olaf is dissapointed?

Dude, you ain't seen nothing!

I got a call from a potential new team mate for our women's team saying she needed a rider to fill in for her partner. OK, what the heck, I needed to get out on the TT bike and if I hurried I could still make the MTB race down at Fort Ord.

We had never ridden together so the main focus was communication. I would run at the front and she would dictate the pace by yelling "GO" for go faster and "UP" for slow up. My goal was to go just hard enough to make her yell "UP" every once in a while. That way I knew she was riding on the rivet. She had plenty of strength on the flats and had no problem bombing the decents at full speed. We had started to close on our 1 minute team before the first corner.
The climbs were a challenge, but I set steady tempo and paid close attention to her breathing to regulate the pace.

We did pretty well ending up with a 10th out of 25ish teams, and 2 minutes off of her time from last year. I think technically we worked the best, her communication was spot on and timed well enough so that I could back it down before she fell off my wheel.

Then I packed it up drove the suped up Durango down to Fort Ord making it with an hour to spare. I did a half lap pre-ride with the Black Market rocket and realized something is not feeling right.

The race starts all balistic like and I am doing my best to keep it together. Somewhere around lap 3 the cramp under the rib cage sent the engine room crew on strike and it was all over. Mass suckage!
So I spin for a lap to just try and recover and test some things on the bike. I made a couple of air pressure adjustments in the fork and at least ther was improvement there.

Do we need those?

Finally feel like I have the TT bike dialed in.
Adjustments made:
New Ritchey S Bend TT bars (extremely adjustable)
New shift levers.
Brought bars/stem up a little on the steer tube.
Changed from 175 cranks to 172.5 cranks.

Everything felt really good, smoother pedal stroke and felt fast.

Then, heading up Dublin Grade the things starts creeking like crazy. So I get back to the car and try to tighten the cranks. Nada, they are as tight as they get. Scratching head I start fiddling with it more, yep it is definitely something in the BB area. So I checked the drive side crank arm and notice something missing. Chainring bolts...3 out of 5...that's OK right? There were 5 when I started. ???? Maybe that is what those two random popping sounds were.

So I wiggle the crank more, well...3 would probably be OK... if they were TIGHT.

Chainring bolts...do we need those?

Check the chainring bolts next time...dumbass.

Still a little slow

I finally figured out how to get my links up. Really, I wasn't trying to be rude, I just couldn't figure out why they didn't show up right.

GIN, I'll return the same favor since I need to get over myself.

My next CD purchase

The long overdue Operation Mindcrime II
http://www.queensryche.com/

Fun with words...

Let's play a little game today, America. Let's really see what is on people's minds.

Part 1:
Complete these sentences.

I really love it when my______________.




It may be old, but it really________________.




My favorite song is ___________________.





Part 2:
Start this sentence:

_____________________________

It's raining in deep in Heaven

Actually it's raining here again, but I couldn't pass up the opportunity to use that line from a Dream Theater song.

The other song I can't get out of my head is "Holiday" from the Scorpions, specifically the last part:
Longing for the sun
You will come
To the island without name
Longing for the sun
Be welcome
On the island many miles away from home
Be welcome on the island without name
Longing for the sun you will come
To the island many miles away from home

From Trial of Tears (Dream Theater)
Still awake
I continue to move along
Cultivating my own nonsense
Welcome to the wasteland
Where you'll find ashes, nothing but ashes
Still awake
Bringing change, bringing movement,
Bringing life
A silent prayer thrown away,
Disappearing in the air
Rising, sinking, raining deep inside me
Nowhere to turn,
I look for a way back home
It's raining, raining, raining deep in heaven

I must be a little slow in the head...

America,
I just don't get something. What is it about resorting to bodily injury of another individual that makes the aggressor think he is changing the other persons mind about what they are disagreeing on?

I understand a good arguement, actually as a seeker of truth, I love a good arguement. One where facts are presented, alternative perspectives, then ultimately the arrival at common ground through the meeting of intelectual discussion. What is better than a good arguement to help find clearer ways of presenting and evaluating the facts around your personal conclussion on a topic?

(from Monty Python's Arguement Clinnic Sketch)

M: No it can't. An argument is a collective series of statements used to establish a contrary position.

A: No it isn't.

M: Yes it is! It's not just contradiction.

What I don't get is when one party feels that the only way to change the other person's contrary position is by cutting them off in a race and running them off the road.
Laying in a ditch the injured party says to himself "maybe he is right, I never looked at it from that persepective before, I'll have to re-evaluate my facts". That is pretty crazy, but logically this is the only thought I can imagine the aggressor thinking he will achieve.

Actually, what I think is really happening is that the aggressor realizes he is wrong, or lacks any real facts supporting his position, but is too much of a ego maniac to admit it. So instead resorts to causing physical harm in attempt to keep his self image intact.

BTW: No, this event did not happen to me, but I did witness this act, or at least the aggressor's act at the road race. Truth is I am just bewildered and will probably buy some Johnson's and Johnson's stock since there seems to be an abundance of people with scraped up knuckles in need of band aids. (that is a reference to knuckle dragers, folks).
Truth is, if this did happen to me, I am such a hard headed moron that I would be laying in the ditch still arguing my point. "Uh... excuse me, yes I am bleeding now, but this really doesn't do much for supporting your contrary position, and now I not only think you are daft, but also an Asshole as well." "And by the way, if you wish to continue this argument, it is going to cost you another $5.00." " Acceptance bodily injury is substantially more but is billed on a Time and Materials fashion." "Will that be cash or credit, I also take Paypal?" "Or perhaps you would just like to concede?"

It could be the death of me. Eh?

Why did they want to know that?

America,
I was at Costco last night with my wife and I noticed a sign near a small counter containing some paper and pencils. The sign said "Tell us what you think". I thought this to be a bit of an odd sign, but I decided to comply.
On the paper provided I wrote:

I think...
The freeway on-ramp signs should be yellow instead of green.

I think...
White wine tastes like fruit juice gone bad.

I think...
Cats and dogs should be able to get along.

I think...
More people should buy Starbucks coffee so that my stock goes up.

I think...
There should be a Masters Category for Semi-Pro mountain bike racers.

I think...
The right to manufacture new words should not be limited to scholars.

I think...
We should enforce the rule I before E except after C.

I think...
Based on the above mentioned rule, Albert Einstein either misspelled his name, or mispronounced it.

I think...
We should combine more words together to save time. I have a refrigerator freezer, it should be called a refrigideezer.

Lastly...I think...
Costco should be more specific as to the topic of their inquiry.

Are you feeling crunchy?

And now for something completely different.

Below you will find a Letter of Apology from Scott Fonseca. A public apology is part of the process that has been agreed upon for Scott to remain on our team. He has also made a commitment to a Plan of Action to ensure that things will change. It is our belief that people can change/grow from their experiences if shown compassion and aided with some coaching.
Please contact Scott if you have any comments for him. It is his path to take the heat on this.

All,

I would like to take this opportunity to offer my deepest apologies for my involvement and actions in the beginning weeks of the 2006 racing season. It is with deep regret that my involvement has come to this: I extend my sincerest apologies to both Dave Anderson of the Morgan Stanley Racing Team, Jeff Poulson of the Safeway Racing Team, and the Central Valley Cycling Team. I understand that I’m extremely sensitive to verbal and vulgar abuse, but I also understand that my responses are still no excuse for my actions.

To the EMC²/Vellum Cycling Team, its club, our sponsors, race officials, and to the entire master’s field in general, I humbly ask your forgiveness. I have embarrassed you all and the sport I love.

Scott R. Fonseca

EMC²/Vellum Cycling

Acceptance

America,
It's clear that there is still some extreme missunderstanding of the DA concept. It is also appearant that some folks are reading what they want to see and not what is written, selective editing.

To clarify, one does not go out looking for people to hate or dislike. The Designated Asshole is a job that an individual or individuals have agreed to take on pre-physical life in order to help you along your path.
Acceptance comes in the form of admitting to yourself that you have some things to work on. By acknowledging that within yourself, you will also be accepting to those you would otherwise choose to just avoid. What we are discussing here is a pause, taking a moment to understand what it is in the person that rubs you the wrong way instead of just avoiding them as most would just do.

Why? Because you have an emotional charge around this person's traits or behavoirs. Just like you may be having an emotional charge about this series of posts. It means you have something to work on. If you really didn't care, you wouldn't be responding. But there are responses, and from people I would not even think read this BLOG.

Here is the thing America, this Designated Asshole concept is challenging peoples perception of reality. We are all taught that we are supposed to always be nice, we are taught that there is right and wrong (sounds like judgement). When a concept comes in and challenges what we beleive to be correct and what helps us to be "OK" with ourselves, the autonomic self-defense mechanism (ego) steps in to try and maintain the status quo. Sounds like an acceptance issue.

Accepting the harsh reality that there are going to be people in life that just rub you the wrong way is the first step in looking at your innerself. When you do accept this, and instead of just avoiding them, you actually take a moment to understand what it is that bothers you, then and only then can you figure out why. Again, I point out that we are not seperate, but are all connected. Each person out there is displaying an aspect or trait of our own personality. When we see an aspect or trait displayed that we do not like, it is because most very likely the same trait is within ourselves. If you are not willing to look at it, you cannot correct it.
De Nile is not just a river in Egypt, is it?

This has nothing to do with accepting others for who they are, it has to do with accepting ourselves for who we are inside and being willing to grow from what others show us.

This is also about embracing your feelings, not just the good ones, but also the ones you would classify as bad. You cannot truely be accepting of others until you can be truely accepting of yourself. Until then, one is living in a duality driven by ego.

"Seek not to have all the answers, but to understand all the questions" Taoist quote.

The DA Catch 22

It seems that there are enough interesting comments about the DA concept to justify a new post and expand on the topic a little.

It's apparent that some folks draw issue with the fact that there are people who will just get under your skin (aka your DA). Some would say things like, "I choose to focus on the good in everyone". Well, that is certainly very nice and admirable, the problem is that is not very realistic. It also known as "Spiritual Significance", in the metaphysical community these are the people who believe we should only wear white and walk around speaking in very soft voices, and have rose pedals flying out of our @$$. (OK, so I added the last part, but you get the point).

BULLSHIT!

It is always very easy to SAY the right things, but action speaks louder than words. At the end of the day one needs to self evaluate whether they are being honest with themselves, or are they just saying the right thing in order to preserve self-image (ego).

About the DA:
Let's say you are one of those people who says that they will focus on the positive aspects of a person that, like it or not, gets under your skin (like shows up to the podium in scrubs). By refusing to acknowledge the characteristics in the person (your DA) that really get to you, you are affectively stunting/hindering your own personal growth. The DA is there in service to you to show you things about yourself that you are not aware of. He or she is serving as a mirror image to your subconscious. By refusing to acknowledge what it is that disturbs you about the person, you are refusing to look at yourself and your issues.

Only through acknowledging the traits that are disturbing to you and seeing them in yourself can you truly dissipate those feelings. Once you realize that those things you don't like in them are within you, compassion for the individual will become the overwhelming feeling. Why? Because you now understand them, and ultimately a little more about yourself.

Remember, we are all one, we are all here to teach each other about the many different aspects of life. Forget the whole good/bad thing, that is just humanistic judgment.

Manifesting:
One does not manifest the rain away, but can manifest a dry day. Focus where you want to be, not on what you want to avoid. Incidentally, if you run into your DA, you manifested that experience. It is also a contract between you and that person, and until you acknowledge that, his/her contract will not be fulfilled.

Be true to thy own self (or something like that).

Have you met your D.A.?

D.A. stands for Designated Asshole.
This is the person you hate with every ounce of your being. If you were the type of person that sees God in everyone your inner dialog would go something like this: "everyone is a God, accept that person!".

America, we all have a D.A., some of us have more than one, and all of us are one for someone somewhere. You see the D.A. has a very important job, to teach you about the traits within yourself that you most dislike, but can't see. The D.A. is your mirror to your dark side.

The best thing you can do when you meet one of your D.A.s is go spend some time with them, find out what makes them tick and what it is that disgusts you so much. Once you find it, take a long hard look at yourself and begin to recognize those very traits within yourself. You can't change something you are unaware of.

Blessed is the Designated Asshole, for it is a challenging job.

Passing it on...

I heard something in the movie/documentary "What the Bleep".

How can we define in absolutes what is real when the very thing we use to perceive our World is intangible?

Or something like that, but that is the idea.

Think about that one for a bit America.

Did some manifesting today.

America,
Today was a day that can be used as an example of the concepts that have been discussed here.

While everyone was convinced that it would rain on us at our race, I used a bit of positive thinking and said "it is going to be dry for our race". Notice that I avoided the use of the word "not" in my statement.

It was dry for our race.

Now that doesn't mean by any stretch of the imagination that positive thought can control the weather. What it means is that I chose to experience a dry day. I know what you are thinking, "what the hell are you talking about Brother?".
What I am talking about is quantum reality. The understanding that every possibility is happening all at once, and that it is the observer that chooses (consciously, or subconsciously) which possibility he/she wishes to observe.

Now we have advanced from the concept of our thoughts create our reality to our thoughts choose which reality we will experience.

Ah, but maybe several people have conflicting choices of what they want to experience. It could happen, but the deciding factor is a person or persons who are aware of the possibilities and chooses consciously what they wish to observe, and has the least amount of doubt for what will be experienced.

Temporary moment of (in)sanity

The Rod man said it right TGIF!
It's been a brutal week both on and off the bike.
Wednesday was my final day of bridge intervals and I decided that 45 seconds was for woosies, so I increased it to a minute. With a little help from Mr. Mendes, the intensity was increased too.

Thursday, slapped on the climbing wheels and went out to try for a PR on Palomares. It was a good time, but 19 seconds short of my goal. I guess it's not bad for March and all the extra crap we have to carry and wear to stay warm.

I keep toying with the idea that there is an ideal weight for wheels. Too light and you loose power to flex and instability, to heavy and you loose power to keeping them rolling. My times are just as fast on the 1500 gram Ritcheys and Campy Euros as they are on the 1300 gram Rolfs.

Friday, now my back is tweaked, and I have this nasty shooting pain going down the back of right leg. Time to go see the back cracker and get the frame realigned before the weekend's races. AH (hyper)active rest week next week, sometimes it's nice to just ride for fun. I love sitting on the back of the group and saying, "sorry, rest week, I am just sitting on today".

Of course, what is a rest week without making Charles drag me to the top of Calveras and going for the KOM in the last 40 meters. Gotta get the blood pumping, right?

The "I am"

America,
I must apologize for leaving you hanging on this side topic. Let's discuss the "I am".

What is it?
The "I am" is all that you are, mind, body, spirit, and the universe all wrapped up in one. It is the bringing in of all potential, all pure energy.
By grounding in the "I am" power, you are bringing your spirit and all that you really are into this one moment "the Now". It's about feeling fully realized, fully grounded into your body, focused with all that you are.

Many people might think this sounds a little odd. It is important to understand that many are not fully in their body, or as some would say have not fully aligned all their bodies into this one moment. We are talking about the Spirit (lives in the infinite), the emotional body (lives in the past), the mental body (lives in the future), and the physical body (lives in the moment) all coming together in alignment.

Try this exercise:
Sitting or standing, straighten your spine, imagine a thread running through your spine pulling you tall and straight. Take a deep belly cleansing breath and say to your self "I am" as you breath in.
Say it with emotion, and imagine you are breathing in life force energy and connecting to every living thing around you.
If you feel a subtle wave of energy run through you, you nailed it. You are in the moment, grounded, powerful, and all of your bodies are aligned. In this space you will find inspiration, enthusiasm, and pure potentiality.
Do this when you are worried, or when you are mentally stuck, or just need a stress relief.

I am! Say it with power, strength, and emotion. Feel it!

Manifesting re-continued

America,
It's time to pick up where we left off on this topic, but I thought it important to share the previous posts as they are an important element of this series.

My wonderful friend from Oughten House Foundation, Dr. Robert V Gerard just sent me his new book, "Divine Quick-Fix Healings", "Simple Techniques for Solving Life Problems". (Robert was always big on subtitles). I am looking forward to reading it, but I have already found some powerful words inside.

Now first, one must understand how I read books. Because I feel the Universe will deliver the message we most need to have at exactly the right time, I just open the book and read the page that I end up on. Others would say this is the subconscious directing you to the message it wants the conscious mind to see. Whatever, it works.

I opened Robert's book fresh out of the package and found this passage:
"Wake UP!
Stop criticizing and judging yourself.
Complaining is useless.
Stop criticizing and judging others.
You don't get anywhere by making them responsible for your issues, depression or unfair life.
It is your creation, not theirs."

Man, I can't tell you how perfect the timing is on this message as it pertains to a couple of situations that require tweaking at the moment.